transatlantic...

I've added a word to my blog title:

trans·at·lan·tic, adj.
1. Situated on or coming from the other side of the Atlantic Ocean.
2. Spanning or crossing the Atlantic Ocean.

Life happens in stages... I think this is the best word for mine right now, given I'm not sure what side of the world I'm on half of the time.

I wondered if there was a word "transpacific"? Indeed there is... who knew? It's funny that I've never heard of it before, being a Pacific Northwest girl...

:: "I am not the same having seen the moon on the other side of the world..."

la jument...

This image captivated me today. Look closely and you'll see the man at the lighthouse door... I wanted to know the story...

I miss the ocean. I was born on an island, and my entire life (with the exception of four land-locked years at college) I've lived within view of the sea. I love its hugeness – its peace and its power... It reminds me of God.

In the midst of this overwhelming sea, I am still and safe...

:: "This is over my head but underneath my feet..." – Lifehouse

blur...

I have 59 minutes to still make my Tuesday deadline... and ironically, nothing much to say. Well, not much I can say here, anyway, in this randomly public forum. Not that I don't trust you readers with my innermost thoughts and most confidential information... it's just that I don't trust the rest of the world that might trip across this page someday.

Do you ever feel as though you are standing still and watching everything else rotate around you? No, not the "I am the center of the universe" daydream -- it's a real feeling I'm talking about -- as if things are moving and happening so fast and it has nothing to do with you, yet everything to do with you. Like pieces shifting into place, being positioned by a divine and deliberate hand...

That's how I feel. I'm in the middle of something. Something big.

For now I can't speak. I can only watch, and listen, and sometimes feel overwhelmed and sometimes very peaceful... And go to sleep at night trusting another piece of the puzzle will fit tomorrow...

:: "Can anybody fly this thing..." - Coldplay

one more ocean line...

Alright... I think the Ocean Lines site was feeling abandoned so I posted one more update that I hadn't finished from the end of January. Maybe I won't quite be able to leave it behind after all. We'll see... www.northernharvest.org/tianna

My ski-less Saturday was vindicated today -- it was such glorious weather we abandoned our desks and headed for the mountains... Carpé diem. :) So all of you can quit asking me if I've gone skiing yet (as if that's the only thing to do in Switzerland... there's also fondue!). All in all, it was a very Swiss day. I promise I'll work twice as hard tomorrow...

And no, it's not Tuesday (again)... but keep checking. ;)

:: "The mountains are calling and I must go..."

shore survival...

I just realized this is my four-month anniversary of leaving the ship.

It's hard to explain the emotions involved with leaving a part of your life behind that has been so deep and defining. You wear connections to people and places that will never leave you. The experiences mark you forever, and change the course of your life. You are never the same.

I am still realizing this.

:: "How do you pick up the threads of an old life? How do you go on, when in your heart, you begin to understand... there is no going back?" - Frodo, from "Return of the King"

through a lens...

Joshua Fletcher -- last year's talented photographer on my M/V Anastasis Communications team... Here's a link to his website and a few of the thousands of poignant Mercy Ships moments he captured in Sierra Leone, West Africa...

tuesday's child...

So I had this whole plan to update this blog every Tuesday. Why Tuesdays? Well, I like Tuesdays. I was born on a Tuesday, and strangely, I've noticed quite a few significant things in my life have happened on Tuesdays. I like to think they belong to me somehow.

But Tuesday's child is full of grace... not discipline. :/ So... here I am on a Saturday. It was going to be my first visit to the alpine slopes this morning, but since it's raining, here I am catching up with myself instead. There's nothing very exciting happening today. Nevertheless, the whole point of this blog is to give you a regular window into my life, so... boring or not, welcome to this one.

I've been back in Switzerland almost a month now, with a long list of good intentions... (Tuesday's child is apparently also overly optimistic about her own capabilities). Printing and mailing a newsletter was one of them -- catching up on all my emails, exploring my new surroundings... Not to mention learning French and making fabulous strides in my new job.

Well... the newsletter IS coming, I promise. I've made a satisfactory dent in my inbox, and also in the beautiful Swiss countryside (sometimes I feel like I'm living in a postcard...). My French... well, I'm starting courses in a few weeks so I can say something besides "bonjour" and "enchanté". And the fabulous strides in my new job? Every day the nebulous cloud clears just a little bit more and I can see a step farther. But just a step or two. Then every now and then, this rare ray of light comes through and I catch a glimpse of the bigger picture and I know distinctly what I'm doing here. That vision keeps me going on the cloudy days.

How strange it is to find oneself in a new place, a new country, a new job... Who am I when so much is unfamiliar? Who am I when I can't speak to people? Communication, language, words -- are so important to me. I'm finding the exercise in identity good for the soul... when the familiar is stripped away, you discover what's left underneath -- who you really are.

I'm finding myself at home... A new and different home. There's snow on the ground and the days are (mostly) sunny and the nights cozy in this big old house... I miss the ship in odd and random moments, but I miss my friends scattered around the globe so much more. I'm thankful for technology that keeps me connected -- phones and fiberoptics and satellites... Mostly, I'm thankful for words that translate across oceans when nothing else will.

Tuesday's child prays for grace...

:: "All that I can, I will" – French saying

page of change...

In keeping with the current theme of change in my life, I've decided it's time for my web presence to change. After all, I created my Ocean Lines site three whole years ago, and somehow, since I'm no longer on the ocean, it seems fitting to close that chapter and move on to something new. Don't worry -- this won't look so different, and it might actually get updated more often due to its amazing ease of use. And never fear -- for those of you who aren't quite ready for this change, you can still access all my old journal entries in the same old style at the same old place: http://www.northernharvest.org/tianna

Change... A year ago I was floating on a big white ship, off the west coast of Africa, in the tropical sun... And now here I am, sitting in a big white house, on the edge of Switzerland, in the middle of winter...

Welcome to my new world. Discover it with me.

:: "Destinations are where we begin again"