submergency...

Sometimes I wonder what percentage we really see of each other's lives, in our everyday friendships -- even in our closest relationships. There's so much we leave unspoken and unseen... and they are quite often the biggest things. A vision of icebergs comes to mind... all of us floating around in relative peace and passivity, rarely touching each other above water, but below... the 90% of our invisible selves constantly in jeopardy of exposure...

Every now and then we look deeper and we can see... just what lies beneath. Sometimes dark and disturbing... nearly always painful. The view of each other above the water is so much more pleasant. It consists of things we are comfortable seeing and know how to handle. But it isn't the whole picture. It isn't reality.

The closer we get the more we see... The more we see, the more we feel. And the more we feel, the less we know what to do. It would be easier to see less, but I ask you, how can we truly love someone when we know only 10% of who they are?

The more I glimpse the pain below the surfaces of the people I love (and we all have it), the more it hurts me. Maybe the real reason we don't look so hard and don't get too close is because we're afraid we'll see something we recognize too much -- something that reminds us of our own deepest hurts. Yet maybe our seeing, and our staying, is enough. Perhaps being willing to take on some of that confusion, uncomfortableness and painful familiarity somehow does help make it a little less to bear.. for both of us.

Bear one another's burdens...